i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Everything about him screamed your future.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
