I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
