Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
