He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
