Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That's when you crack a 10am beer
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
