I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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