Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize