Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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