In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
