just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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