it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I party with great urgency now.
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