sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
operation harelip BJ is a go
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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