We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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