I wanna bring you to show and tell
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's blow job season.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
