I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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