i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
