So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize