Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
