Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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