DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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