oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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