just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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