i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How does one acquire holy water?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
