Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
