Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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