i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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