I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
