I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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