I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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