do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
