This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
