They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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