Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
