Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
