If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize