mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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