nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
