It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
