Your tits are I can't wait for
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
