They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
