I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
