Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
