escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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