Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
