did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
