Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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