i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
