using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
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I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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