her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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