I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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