im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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