How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
