You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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