Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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