we have pet lesbian snakes
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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