I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's the barista slut.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
