You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
