i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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