Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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