RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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